


To Where We Start

by TickingPocketWatches



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: It could really fall under both Spock’s and Jim’s, M/M, New Years AU, but it was based as the original, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 09:07:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13210509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TickingPocketWatches/pseuds/TickingPocketWatches
Summary: But here it was. The sign of a new year to stamp a kink on that somber thought. A time to rewind and start a new. To find the open door that eyes needed to see, and fingertips needed to touch, to realize that their wishes and their desires were really there for them this time, when all one had to do was just take that step and grab hold.





	To Where We Start

**Author's Note:**

> It’s been an incredibly long while since I posted. I’m totally aware of this, and if I do have followers, I apologize immensely. It’s been a long year for me and my family, as I’m sure we all had. My mother was diagnosed with melanoma at the beganing of the year. It was difficult to take in and function, especially find the mind to write. 
> 
> She recently just finished the Stemcell Transplant and all has been going fine for her. She has been doing well, just a bit easier to run down. 
> 
> I know this really isn’t a place to post my problems, but I feel the need to express my absence. I just want my readers to know how much I appreciate you all. Thank you for supporting my work. I can’t express how much I appreciate knowing that there are people out there reading my silly little thoughts. I just hope I can bring you guys a smile, because I think we all can use one from time to time. 
> 
> Anyway, I give you this story as a thank you, and a warning that I have works. (many works in progress) I just couldn’t find the time or the inspiration to finish any before, But now that things are going round to back to normal, I feel like I’m becming myself again. So, stay tuned for more! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and have a blessed and prosperous New Year! You all deserve it.❤️

James has spent many mornings in the company of his First Science Officer. The hours dripping into days of blended minutes and images- that soon run together in a mash up of the common memory in the back of ones thoughts. 

But, with busy schedules of lazy star gazing duties, James could always separate those moments, when Spock was at his side. The flipped pages of living, flowing endlessly as every now and then he would pull Spock from the silent chaos of time of his yesterday memories. Peeling away the stress and the headaches to reveal what he held most important.

Though, as the days minutes slowly went by- like the one he currently was having, Jim had nothing but time on his hands to twirl over in his head. Along with lazy eyes to drift where a captains focus shouldn't be lingering.

It was days like these, that he couldn't decide if they were intriguing or irritating. 

The looks he was answered to, when Jim would seek out eye contact from the Vulcan from off to his side. Only to be quickly ended by the others back taken place from his front. His eyes that Jim held moments before going back onto his work. 

It would seem the days usually would go something akin to that. Avoiding, as well as snatching the captains trying gaze. Cleverly twisted flirting that blended nicely with the normal professional conversations they would find themselves pressed to have. 

However sadly, Spock didn't seem to be bitting the bait or playing along with his silly little words today. Instead, he was left with many eye aversions and too stiff a posture that even Spock made look off. He couldn't help but wonder if he had gone too far and put Spock into a state of self obedience, or if there was simply something bothering the Vulcan. 

A soft sigh seethed out nostrils in a content length of breath Jim had not taken for hours. His inner clock tapping on his drifting mind, to inform that his shift was soon over for the night, and that he would be back in his small space of cold walls and a lonely bed that was meant for one. 

With a tiredness that he felt inside in his bones, he rose from off his chair and made effort to slow his retire in hopes for a few mere minutes of catching the eyes he wished to hold.

His voice clean and direct as he declared that he was done with the day. His ears perked to the soft 'Happy New Year, Captain.'s, and his eyes quick as he looked to the man- who's back Jim could draw a map of. 

His replies were kind, and the taste of satisfaction was absent, leaving a flavorless sensation over his tongue, when the voice he fixed to hear, never bid him farewell or any other sign that was of acknowledgment his departure. 

Though, as Jim took the step that met his boot toes with the exits door, he could feel that his body was followed by eyes that had stubbornly avoided his own through out the day. 

James wanted to be just as stubborn as the other, by eschewing the eye contact of the other, but he was always the weaker for the one his heart raced for.

He turned at the neck and made sure his eyes landed precisely on the Vulcan. His smile pulled just enough to leave his features in the boastful pose that made the ever logical Spock breath slow and controllably through quietly whistling nostrils. 

But, he was met with the Vulcans back instead. 

His smile fell disgruntled and his dizzy rise in his chest- hit the floor. He wished something witty would come to his head, but found his noggin empty, besides for the access filler of random Spock trivia that didn't seem really useful right now.

With a sigh, he turned back around and walked into the elevator without another word.

Xx

The walk was slow and almost calming, as he made his way down to his chambers. The softly dimmed lights, melancholic as the lonely hallways narrowed and twisted on. His brows were soft over his unblinking eyes and his fingers hung loose by his sides. The gentle hum of the ships soul, almost like a record that spun without end. Like the vessel, Jim felt as if he was floating in a void of no light. His days never beginning and his restless nights going forever on. 

But here it was. The sign of a new year to stamp a kink on that somber thought. A time to rewind and start a new. To find the open door that eyes needed to see, and fingertips needed to touch, to realize that their wishes and their desires were really there for them this time, when all one had to do was just take that step and grab hold. 

His breath came heavy from his lungs, hollowing a space out of his chest. Making his bright eyes of the future turn gray, and his mind too heavy for his thoughts to carry out what he had visioned for himself. 

He didn't watch as his door swiftly slid open and he didn't remove his boots when he walked past the threshold. The clock on his cluttered desk, reading that it was soon to be midnight and that he was soon expected to start out his year, like he had when he had been eager to live it. 

He stood crestfallen and mentally tired in the center of his space. His rational mind suggesting he should shower before bed, while his leading weaves of thinking, thought loudly that it was 'better to leave it for tomorrow.'. That all he wished to do was sleep through the minute that many stayed up all night to, to watch the hand fall back to the beginning once more. 

The beginning Jim had been feeling stuck to repeat for the rest of his life. He just wished he could go beyond where the record would scratch. 

He ordered his lights on low, for the dark felt too lonely for his bed tonight. While his heavy eyes watched out his window of the black world outside it. 

All the while, never noticing the disturbance of his sliding door that connected with his Science Offers quarters, or the Vulcan who stepped carefully inside unannounced. 

Jim's heart nearly leaped from his chest, when he was abruptly brought from his daydream, by a soft 'Captain.'.   
His person not showing his surprise, but his eyes were round and expression etched with a start that suggested other wise.

"Mr.Spock?" Jim asked, like he would when the Vulcan would walk aboard the deck at the beginning of his shift. Except this time, his tone laced with confusion. 

James raised from off the bed at the waist and dropped his feet to the floor as he stared at the other. His mouth empty for what else to say, for this was the first time Spock had ever used the shared door to allow himself into his Captains chambers. 

The air goes silent, for what feels to be a long gap as the two fumble for words. Spock's stance stiffer than before and his eyes focusing on the pillow of Jim's bed, rather then Jim himself. His Adam's apple bobbing once and his jaw clenching under the muscles he stressed. 

Jim could see an inner conflict going on between his ears, and Jim wondered what could have drove the Vulcan to stand before him with such an unusual display. 

Jim, during the quiet breath, stands from his seated position and takes a step towards the other. A move that raised a flutter of excitement of what he wasn’t sure of. 

"Is everything alright?" The captain finally asks, when Spock's lips open once more, then softly closes quietly as his eyes averts from Jim's again. 

"Affirmative, Captain." Spock says matter of factly. His eyes filled with a passing moment of confidence, going to Jim's as he spoke. The recently uttered words that felt comfortable for him to say, had flowed fluently from off his tongue, but held in the word of 'although' coming stunned in his vocal cords. For, he wasn't sure what he had planned to say once he had entered the Captains chambers and what he had planned to speak. 

Spock swallowed silently and pushed himself further than he ever had gone before with his friend.

"-although,"

James's heart flutters at the word, and he can't help but take another step in Spock's direction.

The Vulcan lets his sentence hang for a beat, as he considers what he's going to add. His thudding heart in his side, sending a wave of queasiness that ended with his belly filled with butterflies. He slides his hands to clasp behind his back, Stopping his fingers from moving to fidget at his sides. 

"-..I have considered- for some time,"

Jim stands stiffly with apprehension masked behind a calm blink of eyes, feeling the weight of each word exhale from the Vulcans smooth lips. A pause in his brave words that placed Jim's own confidence in a wavering suspension. 

"-...That you are a fine captain."

Jim blinks. Confusion, surely radiating from off his person, seeping from every pore. He broke into his room for...that? 

"Why, Mr. Spock. I-I do appreciate your-" Jim circles at the wrist of his suspended hand. Digging in the artificial air for the word he wasn't sure he could unbury. "-your considerate thought. It means a great deal to me." Jim smiles. Unsure from how pathetic his reply sounded. It was like a weird dream after a long night of binge drinking. 

The two goes silent yet again and Jim's heart gradually slows in pulse, a steadier aura seeming to come over the space the two stood in. Time seeming to slip by, keeping them in what feels to be hours, though Spock knew to be only mere seconds. 

Spock’s eyes briefly rose to Kirks, who’m in turn looked unto Spock’s, feeling the weight of another’s sight locked into his person and hearing the breath that was held in the silent air.

"The time I spend with you..,” Spock tries at his calm voice, once he feels the knotting of his inners slowly unravel enough for him to speak. Though as soon as the first few words leave the safety beyond his lips, he recognizes the nauseated tightening of muscles in his stomach once more. He pushes on regardless. 

“The time I spend with you has been pleasant and...most satisfactory,” Spock says with a quiver of chords and sharp eyes that didn’t match under his skin. The butterflies army- growing from the intensity that fed the two beings nervous racing hearts. Kirks body quickly being inhabited by the imagined sources of discomfort, as well.

“-and although we spend an incredulous margin of our time in the others presence. It would be pleasing to find a comfortable moment to spend with one another, under less surroundings of professional criteria, of course.”

As Bones would uncouthly put it,- “We’ll Butter my ass and call me a biscuit.” If Jim didn’t have a head full of helium, he could of swore that his First Science Officer just proposed that they spend quality time together...romantically.   
If he hadn’t been standing face to face with the Vulcan that instant he would of no doubtably pinched himself. For this must be a dream.

Jim realized that he must of remained maddeningly silent, for Spock’s already rigid demeanor swayed from leg to leg to tighten back up into the marble statue that he was. Then, his voice that he could practically feel vibrate over his sternum, moved along the air to give Jim oxygen to breathe. 

“If that would be acceptable to you, Jim.” 

 

“O-of course, that would..-” Jim searched for the reigns in his brain, he could feel the handle at his minds fingertips, but was quickly wiped away when the Vulcan spoke his name. A simple thing that it was, but hearing it said in such a voice- broke the dam he didn’t realize he had built around his chest. 

“That would indeed be acceptable in my book.” Jim finally found himself saying and felt the charm take hold on his system naturally. His eyes heavy on Spock’s as his smile made the others Adam’s Apple bob. 

Jim couldn’t began to count up the hours of days he had wished for his moment to transpire. A material moment that he swore he had dreamt into reality taking place before him, like the home movie he had built in the film of his mind. 

The chance of the lucky was given, and Kirk wasn’t about to let it slip him by. 

Jim’s legs began to move, the short heel to his boots- clicked against the glossy surface, till he could hear the number of clanks it took until he was only inches from the other. 

His dark eyes softly on his, as he reached a hand to connect to the mans arm above his elbow- that he kept professionally placed from behind his back. Jim’s fingers carefully tight on the covered skin he could feel the heat of from under his uniform. 

Jim’s mind timidly told him to give his arm a soft pat, place it back at his side, then, with a twinge creeping into his heart- wish his Science Officer a good night and proceed from there another day. Like a chapter in a book he didn’t want to wait for.

However, with so many days that had passed for a moment to snare as this, Jim decided today was his another day.

Jim’s fingers tightened around the soft material of Spock’s arm, as he felt the weight of the other be pulled into his space when he yanked him in. His head arching to the side as he took the Vulcans still lips onto his own. The frozen muscle before his touch, like the spring coming in to declare an end to the winters reign. 

His eyes fell shut as he felt the muscle in his arm go soft, when the Vulcan made no attempt to pull away. The stillness of his smooth lips- slowly moving gently into the needy yet careful desire that soon woke, to know that he too wasn’t dreaming but in the reality their dreams circled. 

Limp arms found purpose to rise from their slumber and touch the being before one another. Not in a greedy manner mind you, but in a understanding that the person their hearts called out to, was there in front of there fingertips, and was actually living outside of their minds. 

The kiss lasted for mere seconds, but the touches that elicit an oxygen for the breath of their minds- would surely spread the short time into thoughts that would give hours of contemplation.

Jim pulled away from the kiss. The breaking of skin like the reconnection of hands to a clock.   
His breath felt heavy as his nostrils flared from the acceleration of his heart beat, looking up to find that the Vulcans chest rose a tad faster than it usually would.

Locked eyes remained on another as an unworldly spirit encircled around Jim’s heart. A soft knock at the door of his soul, pleading with a gentle push to be allowed it inside. 

Jim felt a long relieving sigh slip out his softly whistling nose, when Spock dropped his gaze to their encircled fingers. His mind surly driving mad as he too tried to take in such a simple human touch. 

Jim took advantage of the tilt of Spock’s neck, moving in to lay a warm palm on Spock’s jawline while the Vulcan contemplated what ever it was that baffled his confused genes.   
The touch woke Spock from the trance he was pulled ashore from, and spoke through an expression that Kirk felt in himself. His hand pulling Spock back into another kiss that drove deeper than the last. 

The cheers beyond their closed door came unheard as the night ran into the late hour of midnight. Their Conrad’s and friends- lost to the void that circled around them. Wine spilt in the excitement of hugs and kisses that were seen as tradition once the ball fell in the TV, pouring colorful confetti papers into the streets of New York City. 

All the happy and sad souls coming together to restart once again and began anew. A hope that better was yet to come as the calendar they hadn’t hung on their walls yet, was start fresh. 

The alarm clock that shone in bright blue numbers soundlessly broke into the sight many waited for at the end of another grueling year. The time not daring to disturb the two that were drifting spiritually into one another, in ways that only the soul could commute. Those bright numbers going unseen even as many more minutes trickled by. 

The time meant nothing for either anymore now, never counting down the years of being alone and watching the hands of time spiral on, telling him that he missed another round, For he didn't have to look at the clock to see that his fresh start had already begun.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you guys! Take care and get out there and grab what you want! And if you need anyone to talk to, I’ll be right here.❤️


End file.
